There are few things as difficult as saying good-bye. When separating from your baby or young child the first few times, there will be angst, worry, fear and tears. But it might not be the child experiencing all these feelings; separation anxiety affects parents too!

The first good-bye can stir a parent's emotions
Parting can be even more difficult for a mother than a child. Leaving the baby for the first time can stir up a multitude of emotions. Will I ever see my baby again? Will my baby forget who I am? Will my baby cry the whole time I am away? Am I a bad parent for leaving her?

Short separations are necessary and healthy
But experts say a little time away –- whether to take a short break from the daily demands of parenting or to go back to work –- isn’t bad for  the baby at all. Throughout your child’s life, there will be many “separations,” including preschool, school, camp, etc. By preparing both yourself and your child to handle those separations at an early age, the later ones won’t be so difficult.

How to ease separation anxiety for you and your child
To make saying “so long for now” easier:

  -  Find a caregiver you are comfortable with. When it’s time to say good-bye it will be easier if you are confident your baby’s needs will be met and he will be well cared for. If possible, leave the baby with a family member or trusted friend for the first few times.

  -  Hire carefully. When hiring a sitter, nanny or daycare worker, ask for references and conduct interviews. After hiring the care provider, spend some time with her and the baby to create a comfort level.

  -  Start small. Begin by leaving the baby for short amounts of time

  -  Go to the grocery store; meet a friend for a cup of coffee, etc. Gradually increase the length of time you are gone.

  -  Put the guilt aside. Remember that caring for a baby 24/7 is a demanding job and you deserve a little break. Getting away for a few hours - or even a few days –- will help you come back refreshed so you can give him your very best.

  -  If you are leaving your baby to go back to work, remember that you are helping to secure her future –- to put a roof over her head, food  on her plate, and a college education in the bank.

  -  Talk about it. Talk to friends and family members about their experiences leaving the baby for the first few times.

  -  Check in. Give the caregiver a call to find out how things are going.

  -  Focus on your child’s growth. By providing an outlet for your child to socialize and connect with others, you are helping him to develop the social skills he will need in life.

  -  Create a homecoming routine. When you walk through the door, have a special “celebration” with your child. Designate the first 15 minutes
 for “cuddle time”; take a few minutes to sit down and read a favorite book; go for a short walk, or take your child for a backyard or
 playground play session. This will give both of you something to look forward to when you come home.

Source: Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, www.chop.edu produced here for general information purpose only. Please
consult your health care provider for more information.